


Join Loki's Army!

by Haldane



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fake advertising, Gen, Humor, Promotional material
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haldane/pseuds/Haldane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, you missed your chance at San Diego Comic Con?</p><p>Still want to join Loki's Army?</p><p>It’s not too late!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Join Loki's Army!

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-ed by the talented [Arkada](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkada/pseuds/Arkada)

**Join Loki's Army!**

So, you missed your chance at San Diego Comic Con?

Still want to join Loki's Army?

It’s not too late!

Big and burly? Be front-line muscle. 

More intellectual? Clever, even cunning? Become an advisor, or upper-level toady. 

No special skills? Always room for more in the ranks of the fawning sycophants! 

**Attracting the God of Chaos's attention**  

Take off all your clothes. Go outside and face north. Leap into the air with arms extended, chanting 'Loki' as loudly as possible. Repeat. 

Do not be deterred by negative responses in your local area! Results such as fainting neighbours, vehicle collisions, or an arrest record _will_ count on your behalf next time recruiters pass through your neighborhood. 

Alternately, search the net for Loki merchandise. This will ensure you have offerings to throw at his feet – along with your body, mind, and soul – should the God manifest in your bedroom. 

Prove your loyalty to Loki by desecrating something valued by his brother. Go to the hardware store and insult the hammers. Burning, crushing, or otherwise utterly destroying a box of Pop-Tarts is also advisable. 

Please note: Loki will not protect you from any retaliatory smiting by Thor. 

Join the fastest-growing body of uniform opinion in the world today! ****Join Loki's Army!****

 

**Warning**

We are not responsible for any loss of life, sanity, or ovaries in the course of your loyal performance of services. 

 


End file.
